13
Thirteen
thoughts
for the day
13. Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
12. Life is sexually transmitted.
11.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at
which one can die.
10. Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
8. Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
7.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
5.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
4.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two
hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
3.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
2.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
profession. I have come to realize that it bears a
very close resemblance to the first.
And
the number one thought for the day: You read about all these Terrorists
most of them came here legally,
but they hung around on these expired visas, some as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and
those people are all over you. I think we should put
Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
This
is
Dr. C's
groovy web page.
Can you spell conspiracy?
Click on the links below for an entertaining time!
These
are updated several times a month, so do
come back often.
zw
Great quotes !
"Politics, is the art of looking for
trouble, finding
it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong
remedies." Groucho Marx
"No matter how paranoid or
conspiracy-minded you are,
what the government is actually doing is worse than
you imagine."- William Blum
Now
THAT'S
Italian!
Italians
have a $10,000. kitchen, but use the $259
stove from American Appliance in the basement to cook.
There
is some sort of religious statue in the hallway,
living room, front, porch and backyard.
The
living room is filled with old Bombonieri (they
are too pretty to open) with poofy net bows and stale
Almonds.
A
portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the dining
room.
God
forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef
Boy-are-dee, Franco American, Ragu, Prego or anything
else in a jar or can. (Tomato paste is the exception.)
The
following are Italian Holidays:
* First weekend in October - Grapes for the Wine
* 3rd weekend in August - Tomatoes for the SAUCE(it's
SAUCE not GRAVY )
Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef. We are
Italians, we don't care about cholesterol.
Olive Oil, Butter, Cheese, Mayo, no fat free.
Turkey
is served on Thanksgiving,
AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna.
If
anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE,
slap 'em in the face --it's SHCAROLE.
If they ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know that there is no wedding nor is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the tiny meatballs must be made by hand.
No
matter how hard you know you were going to get
smacked, you still came home from church after
communion, you stuck half a loaf of bread in the gravy pot, snuck out
a fried meatball and chowed down - you'll make up for it next week at
confession.
Sunday
dinner was at 1:00. The meal went like
this...Table is set with everyday dishes...doesn't
matter if they don't match...they're clean, what more
do you want. All the utensils go on the right side of
the plate and the napkin goes on the left. Put a clean
kitchen towel at Nonno & Papa's plate because they
won't use napkins. Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the table.
Aperitif,
vermouth, Fernet...brrrr!!!! First course, Antipasto...change plates.
Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all spaghetti Macaroni)...change plates.
After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes,al dentevegetables...change
plates.
THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat
the salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.
Next,Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran
out of the other ones). Coffee (Espresso for Nonno, "Merican"
coffee for the rest) with Anisette (Hard Cookies to dip in the coffee).
Cannoli, pastry, liquor, later ...more espresso
The
kids go play...the men go to lay down.They slept
so soundly you could perform brain surgery on them
without anaesthesia..the women clean the kitchen.
Getting
screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half the
sentence was English, the other half Italian.
Italian
mothers never threw a baseball in their life,
but can nail you in the head with a shoe thrown from
the kitchen while you're in the living room.
Prom
Dress that Zia Ceserina made you...$20.00 for
material. Prom hair-do from Cousin Angela...$Free.
Turning around at prom to see your entire family
including (Godparents) standing in the back of the
gym...PRICELESS!
BUT ABOVE ALL ...LOVE, HUGS KISSES !!
The
true Italians will love this, those of you who are
married to Italians will understand this, and those of
you who are friends with Italians will remember and
will forward it to their Italian friends.